Surviving on charity.

Seriously, that's what I'm doing. Today I got a call from Eirene, who had free food for me that she'd scabbed from work. Yay! Went and met her on the tube, and voila! I have diner. Mmmmm Leek and potato soup.

Problem is, it cost about six or seven pounds to get all the way there and back cause I had to switch, so it pretty much totally negated the "free-ness" of the meal. Bummer huh.

Anyhow, have moved into new room which is to be home to me for the next three weeks. Yay. I just hope that by some miracle I have somewhere to go at the end of three weeks. I actually haven't a clue what I'm going to do when the three weeks is up. Like, at all.

Finding a job is way harder than I imagined, and I'm about ready to launch a terrorist attack on recruiters, who are quite obviously shit at their jobs.

Anyhow, that's my rant for the day.

On the bright side, James came by with some rose wine, and we enjoyed that in a spot of sunshine this afternoon, which was totally a good part of the day! Of course. How could it not be with wine! VINO!

Homeless and Unemployed.

So I did it. I left home. I left Lower Hutt. Lower effing Hutt.

Oh, Lower Effing Hutt will always hold a special place in my heart. But I'm yet to be convinced that I could be entirely content there. Here I am on the other side of the world, and yeah, you know what, I do miss "home".. But I think a lot of that is to do with the fact I currently don't have a home. That's right people, I'm ACTUALLY homeless.

And what's wierd about the whole thing is, the people I thought I could count on, the friends I thought would be sweet as to stay with, are the very ones who haven't really, not REALLY come through for me. Whereas other people have been absolute lifesavers.

Anyway. Am currently spending my time trying to a) figure out where I'm going to spend the next night b) not spend any money and c) find a freaking job.

I'm told August is a hard month as everyone's on summer holidays, so fingers crossed there. But am having serious trouble with annoying recruiters who won't put me forward for the roles I really want cause all I have is banking experience. My skills are TRANSFERRABLE people!

Well, there's my little rant. But you know what, there's something sort of "freeing" about this whole thing. I have no home, I'm an actual Nomad. I've travelled through LA, Phoenix, Vegas, Hollywood, London, Bristol, Paris, Switzerland, Nice, Rome, Venice, Florence, Austria, Amsterdam, Berlin, Edinburgh, and now Ireland.. and it's AMAZING.

I love it. My only wish is I didn't have debt tying me down. Without it I'd keep travelling. Pick fruit to get through each day. Not worry so much. It's simply my credit card payments which are making me fret, Ineed to get a job so I can pay them. Whereas, I'm actually quite happy just floating.

And wait for it... I wish I didn't have so many clothes! Oh my god. I have way too much crap. I want to post it all home and just pack a backpack and TRAVEL! I love it. It's liberating.

I wish Rebekah would pack up and join me, but I've come to terms with the fact she's happy at home and obviously doesn't want this anymore, and I miss her, but I'm still REALLY enjoying life. Loving it.

So, fingers crossed I won't be H & U for much longer, and savings are on. I've started this travelling thing, I never want to stop!

Down down down.

So. Here I am. In my bedroom at my parents house, in Lower Hutt.

Lower Fucking Hutt.

Don't get me wrong - there's nothing "wrong" with Lower Fucking Hutt. It's quite nice in fact. I just dont wanna be one of those people who never leaves.

I've always pictured myself travelling, seeing the world, that sort of thing. Yet, I'm 26, and I'm in Lower Freakin Hutt. LIVING AT HOME.

Something's gotta give. I need to move back to town for starters. If not to Aucks or Melbs. Wellington, as a city, is just too god damn small for me. Yet work, work is soooo good! HOW can I leave it now, right when everything's going swimmingly?

Conundrum.

So Female Parental has jus been yelling at me regarding how I can possibly fathom going overseas with no money. I'm like, dude... I just have to go. You know?! You know.

LOVE.

Not to get all precious or anything, but I love this! How children describe love..

http://hagebutten.livejournal.com/256932.html

Especially this!:
“Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.” - Bobby, age 7

And these! :
“When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.” - Karen, age 7

“You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.” - Jessica, age 8

Say it with me now, AWWWW.

And for some visual stimulation, check out Le Love.

http://leloveimage.blogspot.com/

Gotta love it!

xo

It's March bitches.

Things to achieve in March:

- Scan 21st photos
- Put 21st photos into an album
- Photograph and load clothes to trademe to sell
- move cd's onto itunes
- Sell cds
- Locate a real hula hoop
- Set travel dates & book tickets
- SAVE $1000
- Learn photoshop, even if it's just by playing.

Life. Job. Living. Working. AMBIGUITY.

So someone said to me today "Who cares, it's just a job- when you could be experiencing LIFE!" And that made me think..

What is life? And what does a JOB have to do with it?

Of course, we need a job to live. Fullstop. Money - makes the world go round and all that.

And we prefer the job we do to be one that brings us some enjoyment. No one wants to work a job they hate. We spend the most part of our life at work. 40 hours a week, makes sense for it to be a job you like, right?

SO - to obtain a job you like, you tend to put quite some effort into getting there... in fact you spend the majority of your LIFE studying for years to get the relevant qualification to be given a shot.

So really, it gets a bit murky this whole "it's just a job" "live your life" argument. Because they MERGE (and not like a zip).

I love my job. But I want to travel.

The risk adverse side of me is all "We're in a recession, you love your job, stay put!" Whereas the other half of me is like "It'll be a challenge! You can try something new! You'll be able to get a job! If you don't go now, you never will! Take a freaking chance!"

AAAARGHH!

Too hard. I can't wait for my March horoscope on Astrologyzone! That's for sure.

Inspiration

So recently I dyed my hair PInk (shock horror!) And as scary as it was rinsing out the dye, and wondering what lay beneath.... I LOVED IT! Lookie, it was SOOOOOO cute!



My mother was all "You're a professional! What have you done?! You won't be taken seriously!" My boss, Anna, ws completely cool with it - she thought it was cute! At least that's what she said...My friends loved it (mostly).

But I hear that there were some higher powers in the workplace who weren't so hot on the topic...... God forbid a little individuality! What is it with workplaces being so scared of a little personal self expression? I mean for gawds sake.. it's just HAIR!

My boss had a chat to the other boss and the other boss, and kindly informed the shocked individuals of our "geeks and weirdos" policy - yes, we want to be the most DYNAMIC marketing team in NZ... so what is dynamic? Conforming to the "norm"? or breaking out a little? I'm a o with the last option.

Came across this quote, and agree whole heartedly.

“To be nobody-but-yourself — in a world which is doing its best, night & day, to make you everybody else — means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; & never stop fighting.” — e e cummings

I walked down the street at the Cuba St Carnival, and roaming the bars at night and I had SO MANY people come up to me telling me they liked my hair. (And lots touching it too... minor euw!) But I totally dug the attention, and I fully felt like it was something special to ME.

Unfortunately the pink has washed back out to blonde again, and I miss it. Might have to try and think of some way to incorporate the pink in a way where it'll last longer, and not totally Eff my hair, cause it just made me so HAPPY!

And at the end of the day, feeling happy is really - the only thing that matters.

xo